that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
