Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
