How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
