...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
