Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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