I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
