Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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