See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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