do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
