i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
