need another drink. this is the easiest way
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
