I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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