apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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