some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize