You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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