my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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