and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
