I'm going to jail i love you
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
