So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
