Little spoons don't ask big questions
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
