Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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