his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't deserve a penis
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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