apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
