i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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