White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize