They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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