Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
