So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
