So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
