so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
