Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
