What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Your penis caused this!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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