It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
