Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
