i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you will always have a special place in my vag
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
