Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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