tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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