I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
