Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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