When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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