i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
