so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
