ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
