no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
