I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
