Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
