so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
