This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
