1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
