idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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