The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
