Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
