Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
