There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
