Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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