I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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